月の砂 ~ 摩天楼オペラ

「月の砂」
摩天楼オペラ

乾いた音をたて 言葉が散っていく
心に積まれてた あなたからの言葉
私の生きがい まるで砂のように
風に流れていく 形だけ残して

灰色で蓋をした 真冬の曇り空
色を重ね過ぎて 濁ってしまったの?
誰かが私の心を描こうと
筆を重ねて 失敗したみたい

通り過ぎた日々となっていくのかな
それでも募らせていく あなたへの憎しみを束ねて 悲しみと私は生きる
この胸の中 砂になっていく あなたがくれた言葉の欠片たち
集めてみても すり抜けていくばかり この手の中から

私だけが傷ついて 私だけ泣いてる
私だけ一人で あなたを思ってる

少しは本当のことを喋っていたの?
何もかも 疑ってしまう
あなたの本当を知りたかったけど
今は     そんなこと知りたくなかったと思う

暖かな月のように あなたのこと守りたかった
こんな気持ちも あなたにとっては
ただの重荷にしかならなかったのかな

憎しみを束ねて 悲しみと私は生きる
この胸の中 砂になっていく あなたがくれた言葉のかけらたち
集めてみても すり抜けていくばかり この手の中から
悔しいけれど 涙が残ってる あなたが恋しい

乾いた音を立て 言葉が散っていく
心に積まれてた あなたからの言葉

~♦~

‘Tsuki no Suna’ {’Moon Sand’}
by Matenrou Opera

Words scattering with a hollow sound,
the words from you that were stored in my heart,
Just like the sand, my reason to live
is being swept away by the wind, leaving only its shape behind,

A cloudy, midwinter sky shrouded in grey,
Did it grow muddy because too many colours were layered on?
It’s as if someone tried to paint my heart
but piled on the brushstrokes and failed,

Will every day continue to pass me by?
Even so, I’ll let it grow stronger, and controlling my hatred for you, I will live with sadness*
In this heart, even if I try to gather them the fragments of the words you gave me
turn to sand, just slip away from these hands,

Only I am hurting, only I am crying
Only I am alone, thinking of you

Did you speak a little of the truth?
I end up doubting everything,
Though I wanted to know your truth,
now I think I wouldn’t have wanted to know such things,

Like the warm moon I wanted to protect you,
But perhaps for you these feelings too
could only become a burden,

Controlling my hatred, I will live with sadness
In this heart, even if I try to gather them the fragments of the words you gave me
turn to sand, just slip away from these hands,
Though it’s frustrating, there are tears left and I miss you

Words scattering with a hollow sound,
the words from you that were stored in my heart

* In this line it’s not specified “what” is growing stronger, but I would assume it means feelings of love or something of that nature.

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